Grow Home, Please Origin Story

Writing has been the primary building block for all things in my life that are beautiful and how I’ve moved through things that may be the opposite. I grew up in a household where I was never granted the 'privilege' of having a voice. The only way to express myself in the ways I felt necessary was to write journals and letters to the people who needed to know how I felt. Whether it was love, disappointment, anger, hurt, lust, or whatever else was in my 'feelings toolbox,’ writing was a surefire way to get the message across. Ways for me to escape daily chaos in childhood were to either read or write. I knew that  I could navigate my way out of anything to find peace, even if it were just for a moment. Throughout my life, I was commended for my insightfulness, writing skills, and my ability to connect with others through these things.

My voice was often unheard, but on paper, I was louder than a holler across an empty gymnasium. I often thought about being a writer when I 'grew up,’ but due to my life circumstances, I could only see the bigger picture a few hours from now.

I spent a large part of my childhood and adolescence in the homes of other people- foster homes, group homes, grandparents, aunts, uncles, shelters, and friends. I had this idea that home was a place and felt as though I'd be searching for it for the rest of my life. Where would I feel comfortable and rest my head to experience safety? Where could I put my 'bags' down and unpack? Stay a while? Where would I find love, and who would love me enough to keep me around long enough to establish anything solid?

As I trekked through the different realms of my life, I found that the consistent theme was trying to find peace of mind in a place or even a person that I could identify as "home" and grow from there. 15, 20, and 27 years passed, and still luck and no feeling or finding of 'home.' 

But, we carried on...

Graduating from University and moving into my career in education, community advocacy, and employment, I finally established my voice. I unraveled the things that I was most passionate about and learned how to use my words for the betterment of others and myself. Community, supporting people who want to ask for more in their lives and, through this, helping people obtain meaningful careers. We're in ourselves for our entire lives. The least we can do is honor our existence by showing up in the best ways we can to do right by us.
Weaving in and out of my career, romantic relationships, friendships, relocating, and familial ties, I slowly started learning that home is within me, within us. Home is a feeling and not necessarily a place. I spent my entire life looking for a physical location that felt like home, only to learn it was within me all along. I can create a home anywhere on this earth because home starts here. Home is safety, it's love, it's joy, it's peace, it's comfortable, it's space, vulnerability, and it's where I want to be at the end of the day. Home is me. Home is Vanessa. 

Once I realized this, I started moving closer to the things that made me feel the best when doing them, redefining my relationship with food and movement after years of eating disorders, eliminating all of the ‘shoulds’ from my life, connecting with people who sparked authentic joy, and committing to jobs that felt good in my spirit. I started reading and writing my ass off, allowing myself to daydream, which led to writing even more. I began to ask myself what I could do outside of continually throwing myself into a 9-5 box to really touch the people and propel them forward- pushing them towards going and growing home.

 All the puzzle pieces began connecting, and Grow Home, Please was born in 2018. I took all of the things that I love and threw them into this beautiful pot, watered them, and watched them grow. We're still pouring, and we're still watering. Still writing, making people' feel the things,' still diving into myself, and helping people gather their stuff while I'm collecting mine. I don't know if Grow Home, Please was based on logic, but it was undoubtedly built on feeling.

Through harnessing my personal story and journey, I've supported 2000+ people in growing their homes through storytelling, career navigation, grant writing, coaching, workshops, and keynote speaking.

I've been able to put my bags down and stay a while, encouraging others to do the same, to make their dwellings precisely what they need them to be. 

Thank you for being here.